What is the effect of discipline? In many countries, discipline is seen as a requirement to teach children right from wrong. I always wondered, where did this come from? I grew up on stories of my mother telling us how her mother would hit her with wires, pans, glass, basically anything that her mom could find. My grandmother admitted to hitting my mother, even telling me my great grandmother did the same to her. Still to this day I don’t understand where this endless cycle of child abuse started or if it will end. Each story they told me got worse and worse, it seemed so normal to them. What seems so unclear to me is why they continued this cycle knowing that it hurt them so much as children. I’m not sure, what it could be maybe it’s their way of taking out that pain or it became normalized to them that they ended up doing the same so their children wouldn’t turn out as a bad person. I didn’t know it’s legal in almost all countries which made me question how many people have abused their power when it comes to their children? How would the children be affected by the ability the parents had on their lives? Without anyone being able to protect them in this painful time of their life. Does abusive discipline actually improve children’s behavior? Parents shouldn’t hit their child because it causes a traumatic experience to be engraved into the child’s mind, to the point where they tend to avoid their relationships with people most of all family.
I have personally dealt with child abuse and I’m not going to lie. Sure I turned out fine but with every hit I took the more depressed I became, the more desperate to feel loved, and it ended up leaving me scarred forever. My arms and legs would be bruised, and I having to wear long sleeve shirts to cover it up from my friends and teachers. Slowly I started losing every grip I had to live I began to overdose on pain medicine because I didn’t want to suffer anymore. I’m not alone, so many children just like me went through the same or worse circumstances. This can be proven with observational research done by Amy B.Silverman Helen Z. Reinherz Rose M.Giaconia from Simmons College School of Social Work where they found,“ In one study, 80% of 21-year-olds who reported childhood abuse met the criteria for at least one psychological disorder”. I’m not even twenty-one years old and I have already developed depression and post-traumatic stress disorder because of the abuse I have gone through. Suppose how many more children have mental disorders like mine. Where would they end up finding help? Most like me, in the beginning, stay quiet because they are afraid of what will happen to them, unknown to all kinds of troubles that could occur.
Yes, many might think if you don’t hit your children they will end up becoming drug addicts, sex workers, and thieves. This is a good point you don’t want your kids ending up in the streets, you want them to grow up and do better than you. But, how far will your spanking continue? Children don’t learn quickly because their brains aren’t fully developed. Babies cry to get the attention of their parents to say they are hungry, dirty or just want love. How is it any different when a child acts up in an annoying manner? Sure, it’s horrible but, they do this because they want to get your attention. The more you spank or leave bruises on your child, the more likely they’re to resort to drugs, sex, or other aversive actions. According to Neil Swan’s in Exploring the Role of Child Abuse in Later Drug Abuse, he concludes the number of people who were abused as a child and the effect they would soon come to face “ As many as two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children”. Now you can tell not only does hitting lead mental disorders, but it also ends up causing drug abuse. With every hit, you lead your child into the arms of drugs.
As I said, in the beginning, my great grandmother hit my grandmother and she hit my mother who ended up hitting me. The cycle of child abuse doesn’t have to continue but, for some reason it does. Many people who have gone through similar experiences as mine tell me they only hit you because they want the best for you, they love you or they’re stressed. Does this really give them the right to abuse you? There are many different ways to express their love for you. The American Society for the Positive Care for Children acts as a voice for the children who are still afraid of speaking up about their abuse and to make sure every child is safe they say “About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse”. Must we continue this endless cycle of pain?
Ultimately, child abuse should be illegal because it will only end up causing more damage to the growth of your child and the relationships they have in the future. Hitting won’t fix a kid’s behavior instead it will cause mental disorders to develop. The government needs to make a law to help all the children of the United States to be protected. If you’re going to discipline your child do it by taking away the things they like not by hitting them.
A Dance With Pain 
Hey, this is Nathen. I agree that causing harm to a child through abuse as a form of discipline is immoral and something should be done about it, but I do not believe that any form of physical punishment should be completely outlawed. I believe that sometimes physical punishment such as spanking may prove to be effective at times. However, there is a line between discipline and abuse and that line should not be crossed. As long as the punishment stays within the boundaries, it may be an effective form of discipline for some, not all.
Regarding physical punishment leading to drug abuse and depression, I think that this issue can be resolved if the parents notice that the child is going through these things. If the parents notice that their discipline is causing harm to their child, they should recognize that this form of punishment is not effective and they should consider an alternative method. I understand that not all parents are like this however, and they will continue to harm their child in this manner despite realizing the effects it has on their child. In this case, it will be considered abuse and something should be done to put an end to it.
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Hi Jessica,
I first want to say I’m sorry for what you have gone through in your childhood. From what you claimed, such actions always effects young children because they are still developing. I can agree with your claim because I personally have gone through that type of situation. It’s never easy to get through that situation or try to overcome what you have gone through with your parents.
Also, I agree with when you asked why do parents continue the abusive cycle if they knew it caused them pain in the past. What you claimed made me think about it. It made me realized that some parents end up being hypocrites and repeat the cycle as if they want revenge on what they have felt. It doesn’t make any sense but maybe in the future, we would realize why it makes sense. I also don’t agree with how hitting your children would cause them to be drug addicts. I believe that drug addicts form from peers who influence them into trying it because if we look at it, children don’t know what drugs are or how it feels unless they try it from their peers, not getting spanked.
Overall, great argument! I enjoyed it.
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It’s alright you don’t have to be sorry! I’ve learned from my experience to not hit my own children and become a more understanding person overall! I don’t think that it’s about revenge about parents being abused and doing it to their children. I think it’s the fact that they never learned or developed the mindset that most of us have now on abuse. For example I was lucky enough to see a psychologist and learn that it’s not fine to be abused or treated badly. Sadly, most parents didn’t have the help I received so they continue the cycle of abuse. The reason I believe that they do become drug addicts is because while it may be peers parents have a major influence. If your being hit everyday and you want an escape from that pain you might just get into drugs. Sure, you could be introduced to drugs by friends but in the end of the day it was because you felt a pain that you necessarily didn’t want anymore.
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Hi Jessica,
I agree with the fact that when a child is abused during their childhood, it will lead to mental problems such as depression. Though I don’t agree that children will become criminals if they don’t experience abuse. I believe that abuse isn’t the only solution for discipline. In a recent article I read in my psychology class, it’s discovered that a parent’s action rubs on to the child. Those who experienced abuse may show a sign of aggression, rooting from their experience with abuse.
Yes, child abuse should be illegal, but in this society, most won’t listen as hitting is the first instinct to do when angry. In the end, parents will continue to hit their children even if it’s against the law. Overall, your argument was well written.
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When I talk about not experiencing abuse creates a criminal that is what I’ve heard from my own family. That’s not my own opinion and I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear. I appreciate the fact that you told me about the psychology article I will definitely look into it! Your right in society it will always be difficult for them to understand how hurtful it is to put your child through abuse. My hope is that with our generation there won’t be child abuse or at least lessen child abuse. Thank you for reading my essay!
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